To Iranian President Rouhani: IT'S ALL THERE! BLACK AND WHITE, CLEAR AS CRYSTAL! YOU STOLE FIZZY-LIFTING DRINKS! YOU BUMPED INTO THE CEILING, WHICH NOW HAS TO BE WASHED AND STERILIZED, SO YOU GET... NOTHING!!! YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY, SIR!

— Dennis DiClaudio (@dennisdiclaudio) July 23, 2018